either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
