He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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