definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
