trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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