all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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