Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
me + whiskey = a bad person
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
