you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
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