I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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