Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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