ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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