How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
