I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
