and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
