Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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