You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
