if you like me you must not know who I am
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The beer is more important than you right now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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