white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
