a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Green mimosas i think yes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
