i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
