come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
