I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
