checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
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