There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
