I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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