Sponge bath it is.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize