rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
