yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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