To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
