Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
