The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
