just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
