No subtext here. People are naked.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Randomize
