it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
