just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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