I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize