just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
i've created a new STD.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
