Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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