i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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