I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
