saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
