do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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