Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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