Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
