is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Randomize
