I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
