what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
