I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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