My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
