I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
