we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
