I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
bring money and cleavage
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i now understand why vodka
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
