You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
