we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
