SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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