He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
