I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
