Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
